The Mint

Public House

Roaming south across the rolling North Downs of England, it becomes apparent that there are indeed many ale houses present in this somewhat isolated but scenic countryside. Travelling further south beyond the hamlet of Nork, the small town of Banstead becomes prominent. Despite its bustling night life and frantic day to day antics, the town is home to one of the rare few authentic and truly English pubs still in operation today. Although there are indeed evident problems with this establishment, it is still possible to overlook these unfortunate setbacks and continue enjoying the pub's lively and very entertaining atmosphere.

Entering the Pub itself, which is situated along a quiet side road just off Banstead high street, you find yourself greeted with a warm smile from the landlord Colin. Despite the unnecessary abundance of facial hair you are presented with, he will always be willing to answer any queries you have and will gladly take measures against any complaints you may have with the establishment. The bar serves a fine selection of ales such as Carling Black Label and Bass to name a few, with ample choice for the wine lover. The bar staff, who greet you with an abnormal amount of enthusiasm, will always be willing to cater for your needs in a way comparable to no other establishment in the vicinity. The seating arrangements are close and comfortable with ample room to dine, even if the two seater table you have chosen for a romantic tete-a-tete ends up seating four through no choice of your own. The renowned atmosphere within the pub is made great due to these points and many more, however there are several slight warnings that should be noted.

The initial problem was first brought to the attention of the committee last year when the following letter arrived at the establishment.

Received 23 August 1998

Dear Landlord,

First of all, I would like to commend you on maintaining such a top class establishment, in spite of all the odds pitted against you. You have come almost unscathed, through thick and thin, hard times and good, and still manage to keep your public house available at all times legal. And for that I would offer my most sincere gratitude.

However, I feel it my duty, however onerous, to advise, nay, complain, about something which has been nagging at my conscience, and the consciences of my faithful compatriots, for quite some time now. Until some undefined point last year, the problem was not in evidence, and we felt that we could utilise your facilities without nervousness.

Perhaps it is a sign of the times, perhaps a sign of the telegraph, but it appears that we all agree on the same thing. When using the gents? lavatory, we have all experienced the overwhelming feeling of being watched. Not that this would necessarily be such a bad thing in itself, but the feeling is coupled with the feeling that what one is being watched by is a fish.

We have all found this to be the case, and, what?s more, have found it exceedingly uncomfortable; to the extent that we have been unable to answer the call of nature when necessary. This, in turn, has made our visits to your (as I have already postulated, marvellous) establishment equally uncomfortable, and we feel that, unless something is done about it, we will be forced to take our patronage to your local competitor, the Wheatsheaf.

We are not entirely happy with this turn of events, indeed, we curtailed our regular visits to that establishment quite some time ago. This is due to the fact that, on Thursdays (and only on Thursdays), the Foster?s they served (which at the time was our beer of choice), tasted like a mixture of Avocado Juice and dishwater. The management?s refusal even to acknowledge our complaint caused our resentment to grow, until we felt that we should no longer grace them with our monies.

We can only hope that you will see fit to deal with our comments in a more businesslike and responsible manner, so that we may all enjoy a more relaxed and adult atmosphere in your pub of pubs.

Yours in anticipation, ��

Nobby McDigg
Chairman
The Loyal and Noble Order of Moose
Baraboo, WI
56994
USA

This unfortunate state of affairs has been confirmed by a set of photographs taken with the intention to prove to the proprietor that such a phenomenon was indeed present. Our intention at first was to photograph the culprit if indeed it was there, but unfortunately several events took place that we had not initially bargained for.

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Please click on following link to view the findings

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